Izadora Theodore

Professor Holly, Pappas

English 101

 

Discrimination against father’s and their rights to child custody

 

Fathers walk into family courts, generally hauled in under a wife’s complaint for divorce – and can’t believe the injustice they face. These courts deny them their children and other rights at the whim of the judge. The fathers’ reaction is justified because we all have an innate understanding of what’s right and what’s wrong. And we all understand that we have fundamental rights that governments should uphold. This article gives proof of their parental rights and evidence of family court corruption. The rights we expect are ‘unalienable rights’. It was these rights that the U.S. was formed to secure according to America’s Declaration of Independence:  “the unalienable right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness”. I believe the court system should also treat custody’s battles fairly because some kids get abuse by the parent that they decide to let the child stay with. Also the judge they never want to see the father point, they always give the mother the upper hand. It is not right for the father to pay child support. In this country you can barely find an article saying a mom is paying child support, why does the father have to pay child support. Some father want to be here for their child. In my opinion I think they should get rid of child support, because the father has bills to pay, clothes to put on his back. If he can take care of his child why not let him instead of ruining his life by taking thousands of money out of his pocket.

 

More than 1 million men are raising children on their own in America, according to the Williams Institute — and many are doing it by choice. A good father loves his children, but he doesn’t let them get away with murder. He strongly disapproves of his children’s misdeeds, using tough love to prove a point. He does this through the power of his words, not his fists… He allows his kids to make some mistakes. A good father realizes that his children are human, and that making mistakes is part of growing up. Spending money recklessly, getting into minor car accidents, getting drunk and sick for the first time, even dating questionable women are rites of passage, and a good father recognizes this. However, he makes it clear that repeated irresponsibility won’t be tolerated…He’s open-minded. A good father understands that times, people and tastes change over the years, and doesn’t try to maintain some gold standard of his own time…He teaches his children to appreciate things. I believe that if a couple get into a divorce and happen to have children together the judge should give equal rights. Because having a child is a two way street not one way unless if the parent does not want to be a part of that child’s life.

 

Why do women get child custody more often?

A mother is typically the one to feed the child from birth through the toddler years and that closeness allows for a different kind of bond than a father might have with a child. Mothers are more likely to take more time off work or stay home entirely with their child than fathers. As a result, young children tend to look to their moms first for basic daily needs and emotional support. In many states, the law presumes that children will be best served by having a meaningful relationship with both parents. One factor many courts consider in determining custody is therefore whether one parent is more likely to have a healthy relationship between the children and their other parent. A parent who has tried to poison the child’s relationship with the other parent or refused to allow contact with the other parent won’t fare well here, unless there’s a good reason (such as child abuse or domestic violence).

 

‘father’s campaign for family law ‘equality’ by Leona O’Neill talks about The Northern Ireland Fathers’ Rights Movement gathered at Londonderry Magistrates Court on a Friday, to call for an overhaul of family law and highlight issues surrounding child custody, and also child support that affect fathers and their children. The group says many of its members are fathers who desire to share the parenting of their children equally with the mothers of their children in the aftermath of a relationship breakdown or divorce. They were protesting about parental alienation which basically means when a child is not allowed to see one parent. Some of the father’s that were protesting had not seen their children for almost a year. The court did not offer much help for the fathers. One of the protester said “We are campaigning for reform of family law and want to bring to an end a system were unsubstantiated allegations can be made against the non-resident parent without supporting evidence. The fact is that it is still the case that in 2017, mothers and fathers do not have equal rights. We live in a society where it is the accepted norm that women should demand equality in the public sphere, while maintaining special privileges in the private sphere. We say this is unjust and demand equality now.” Fathers who lose custody were consistently found to be at greater risk for chronic health conditions, psychological impairment, and death. Of particular concern is the suicide risk of divorced men who become legally disenfranchised from their children.

 

 

A Texas mother accused of placing a plastic bag over her 1-year-old son’s head recorded her actions and then sent the video to relatives because she was outraged the child’s father had a new girlfriend, according to family members.

Janelle Peterkin, 23, appeared in court Monday on a charge of child endangerment after she was arrested for allegedly sending disturbing images of her son’s abuse.

Ra’Neicha Broadnax, 20, the boy’s aunt, told the Daily News she received photos and videos of her nephew being slapped, his fingers being burned with a lighter and cigarettes and him with a plastic bag over his head.

Broadnax, who lives in Richmond, Va., said Peterkin sent the video and images out of rage over her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend on April 13. “She sent the pictures to her ex-boyfriend to disturb him,” prosecutors said. She was free on  a $15,000.

I believe that the court system should treat parents fairly, and if one abuse their child they should automatically be remove from them. Not all mothers can be good to their child, the court system always automatically give the mom the custody of the child. Some mothers can be crazier than the other. Look how this mother abuse her son, just because she wanted to upset her baby’s father. I believe that father’s discrimination is a big thing when it comes to custody, and I believe the judges should look into the father’s right instead of giving the mother custody of the child right away.

 

Work Citations;

Dragon, Greg. “Is Support for Single Fathers A Joke? • Hall of The Black Dragon.” Hall of The Black Dragon. Hall of The Black Dragon Magazine, 20 July 2013. Web. 20 May 2017.

Google Search. Google, n.d. Web. 20 May 2017.

PressReader.com – Connecting People Through News. N.p., n.d. Web. 20 May 2017.

Elizalde, Elizabeth. “Tex. Mom Charged after Allegedly Sending Videos of Son’s Abuse.” NY Daily News. N.p., 17 Apr. 2017. Web. 20 May 2017.

final essays

Izadora Theodore

Professor Holly, Pappas

English 101

 

Enlgish 101 Final, spring 2017

 

 

Essay 2

The blog is was not as bad as I thought it was going to be, however there are some disadvantages and advantages using the blog. The advantage is that it as free not every blog out there are free most blogs will charge. It allowed me to share my article without feeling judges or criticize. It also allows other by sharing their article, views and comments to build a network with similar interest. If you get stuck on an essay you can just see if anyone has the same type of topic as you, and you can either look at what their wrote so you can have an idea of what to write about or ask them for help. Instead of waiting for the professor to grade you essay, they can actually just comment on your essay to see what you need to fix. The disadvantages of using the blog is that you don’t really have the confident on yourself , well I didn’t I was scared that someone was going to read my post and judge me or criticize my work. I would require the blog for another English 101 class, but without having to write essay’s back to back . It can be a bit confusing and you  can lose track of which essay to write you just have to keep track of what the essay’s that you are writing.

 

Essay 3

In my opinion I enjoyed writing the memoir, and I believe that it belong in a freshman composition class. I think when a class has ”composition” in it you do a lot of writing of different topics or subjects. When I did my memoir on my theme ”family” it actually helped me learned some stuff about my family that I never about. As I was writing my other essays everything started to connect ,and I just wanted to write more and more.  before writing a memoir you have to choose a topic and if you pick a topic that you are really interested in then the rest of your essay you will most likely enjoy writing them. When I first chose my memoir I pick immigrant family moving to the us, because that was something I did not really wanted to write about , because then I would have to go  and ask  my mom questions that I never knew she would answer but she did. I think the memoir belongs in English 101 because it will help the people to start writing a bit more, because not everyone sit there and like to write in  a daily basis. And also it will help other’s to get ready for English 102. Later on as you passes they will be a lot of writing .I think the memoir should stay because it will help to think a lot more and think more instead of seating in class reading a novel that you may like or not and write about it.

 

Essay 4

When it comes to research papers do not use google, because you will find less and false information. You should use good resources that has straight facts like google schooler, new York times or go one the library data base. When I was writing my argument essay on” whether or not fathers are discriminate when it comes to custody”. it was a bit hard when I was looking on google or Wikipedia, because they had false information’s and no facts. When I used the library database I found a lot of articles and it was very helpful . Just don’t use Wikipedia or go on google.

cover letter

Dear English Department Portfolio Assessment Committee,

 

My  name is Izadora Theodore.  I never had a passion for writing, back in high I just thought essays were unnecessary. Growing up In a different country it was a bit hard when I came here trying to learn different ways how to use my grammars and verbs. I always had an issue when it comes to writing. In this class I learned how to think outside the box and also to not be afraid to write my opinion on a paper because I’m the writer. The reader may nor may not agree with my response to a topic or an article but it is my opinion out there. I have chosen to include three essay in my portfolio- a memoir, an ethnography and an argument essay.

My first piece is the memoir. This essay was a bit challenging, because I had to write about something that happen in the past. My family was involve and I had to ask them couple of questions. Although it was a bit emotional, we talked and it was like a relief. It was a relief because we left the past were it was and never brought it back, but we all laugh about the situation. Writing my memoir was not as bad as I thought. While I was writing my essay I learned a few  things about my family, and I would of never knew if I never pick the theme that had to do with family. Overall this essay was pretty good to me and very informative.

My ethnography essay was the most interesting essay, because I had to interview my mom. My mother and I doesn’t really interact, so following her around was a bit awkward. This essay I wanted to right about single mothers. I wanted to see a single mothers point of view better yet an immigrants single mother point of view. The best person to ask and to talk about that will be my mother. I was satisfied with my essay I feel like I gave all the details and info that someone might need to know when it comes to single mothers. I had plenty information, but I was afraid to give too much information. Overall I was satisfied with my essay, because while I was writing the essay I would feel a little bit emotional. I would feel little emotional, because I had to think about the amount of stuff that my mother was going through.

My argument essay was probably my strongest essay. I love the topic how I had to talk about fathers right, and how they get discriminated. This topic was an interest topic , because I was really focus on the essay. I wanted to find more and more  information on how fathers were getting treated unfairly. This essay was my strongest ,because I was writing about fathers and I have not seen him for almost 9 years. at first I was confused and did not know what to do , but then I put two and two together.

Overall this class made me realize that I  can be a good writer , I just have to focus a little bit more . This class was very challenging but nothing is easy in school. I feel like my writing will continue to improve and I found out different ways to write. You can write essays while interviewing someone, or you can write essay about you. In this class I also learn now everyone is going to judge your opinion, and I also  learn to not feel so insecure when it comes to writing. I know one day I will eventually become a great writer  but every writer have to start someone , This is just my beginning.

Sincerely,

Izadora theodore

first essay

Izadora Theodore

Professor Holly, Pappas

English 101   

My memoir from Haiti to the united states- essay 1

Haiti is a big and beautiful country, but there is a good side to Haiti and there is a bad side. To live on  the good side you basically have to be rich because it is extremely expensive. The good side of  Haiti is mostly quiet and also where most of the beaches are located. For example, there is one part of Haiti that is called “Jacmel”, it is extremely beautiful there. The ocean view is very exquisite, the people over there in the area are super nice, and there is barely any crime or kidnapping. Also there is a lot of tourist that go and visit there. Although Jacmel is very beautiful and peaceful it was too expensive for my family and I to move out there.

   I remember waking up to some extremely loud noise. I believe that the people on the street were protesting to get the President  impeached, but they were not protesting peacefully. At 9 years old, I did not realize how bad my country was. I remember the gunshots, the way the protesters were screaming and throwing rocks at the police officers and also putting cars on fire. They kept on doing it for days, and it was a bit stressful.  Everyone had to stay home, because if you went outside you would either get sick from the tear gas or get killed from the gunshots. My family and I just had enough of living in this country, especially since there was so much crime, kidnapping, and poverty. Because of this, my family decided  to move out of the country.

   One morning my mother wanted to talk to my dad and I, not my little brother because he was too young to understand anything that was going on at the time. My mother explained to my Dad and I that it was time to move out of the country, she said it was a bit too dangerous and the country was just getting worse and worse especially since the decline in the economy was making it harder to find a job.  Although I did not agree with her, she was making the right decision when i realize that Haiti was never goin to change and there was a lot of murderer . My Dad was not happy about it as well. He was a upset because he was a police officer and he did not want to leave or wanted us to leave. My Mother then decided to take my Brother and I from my Dad . He was furious about it but he knew that my mom was making the right decision. As we were packing up our clothes I started to cry , I did not realize that I was leaving so many memories behind – my birthday parties, school, my friends etc… After we were done packing up our stuff my Mother picked us up from my Dad’s house since my mom and my father were living in separte house, my dad brought us to my Aunt’s  house. We had to stay at my Aunt’s house for a couple of weeks because we had to get our papers and other stuff settled, also I wanted to spend a little time with my cousins. Weeks after weeks of waiting My mother booked our flight to Miami, Florida. unfortunately my father was not able to come with us due to some personal circumstances also my mother and my father were getting a divorce at the time.

 A couple of days later we woke up bright and early to head to the airport. I was so anxious because I did not know what this new country was going to look like  or what the people were going to be like. At the airport, when we were handing in our passport,  I got stopped  because my passport was recently expired and my Mother did not notice it. Sadly I had to go back to my Aunt’s house ,while my Mother and my little brother boarded  the plane. I waited for my Aunt to pick me up from the airport with tears falling from my eyes because I felt alone. I was never separated from my Mother and Brother, so the feeling of loneliness was to overwhelming for me. My Dad was not able to pick me up because he was at work. When I arrived at my Aunt’s house ,my little cousins were excited that I came back. 

   I waited one month until I was able to see my Mother and Brother. Fortunately I was able to go with my Mother’s friend, she was a very nice lady. When I got on the plane I had the worse phobia ever, but my mother’s friend helped me out with no matter how scared I was. When I got off the plane, we went to claim our baggage then head outside. I did not know how much longer it was going to take till I was going to see my Mother and my little brother. I remember getting anxious and also nervous that they were not going to show up, but I remember hearing someone shout my name “Dora! Dora!” I turned around and it was my little brother and my Mother . I was so excited to see them tears started to come out of my eyes, not seeing them for a whole month made me realize that I cannot live with them because they are the most important people in my life.

I did not really miss Haiti , my new home was peaceful and quiet. Also, I started to make new friends, and they taught me some words in English. The only thing we were missing is our family back home, because throughout this long journey they really helped us out by making sure that we were all set and not leaving any thing behind. I was also missing my Dad because he was not to come with us but we still kept in touch with him. Even though  we miss Haiti we still celebrate the Haitian holidays.

  Although I waited a long time for this journey to end, it was worth it. When I saw my mom and little Brother waiting for me I was very excited. We went out and explored the town, even though I barely understood the language I did not care. everything was just so different and so quiet, I was glad to come to start a new lifestyle. Now I have achieved  many things like i am able to understand, write and speak the language. i am able to translate from English to creole and I am grateful that my mother brought us here because there is a lot of more opportunity here- such as free public school and if you do great in high school you can get a scholarship when you attend college . In Haiti not everyone are able to go because there is no free public schools, you have to pay out of pocket.  

My family and I lived a better life, we were able to afford the cost of living here, and we  some of our relatives that we left back home decided to make the same decision as us . Unfortunately, our Father will not be able to come to this country due to some private matter ,and till this day we have not seen our Father since the last time we were in Haiti but we still talk to him on the phone everyday.

essay 2

Izadora Theodore

Proffessor Holly Pappas

English 101

 

The journey of an immigrant single mother-essay2

 

”Family” takes many forms, and it is surrounded by the comparatively  impressive  ” choice Moms”-single women who choose to have a child without a male partner. Growing up  with a single mom and two older siblings , my mother would have never thought that she herself would be raising two kids on her own. I always wanted to know  what is it like to be an immigrant single mother? What were the transition on moving from Haiti to here? Or what was it like to fit in with the other U.S single mothers. Therefore, I asked the only one person who can answer these questions which is my Mother. She is a  strong and intelligent woman  who has been raising my brother and I on her own for about 8 years.

Guerda Balde, which is my Mother’s name, lived in Haiti for 35 years, until she made an extremely decision to move my brother and I here from Haiti. My mother is 5’1, born in Belladere, Haiti. She  visited some states in the U.S. For example New York, Georgia, and California . Back in high school she used to be a dancer ,and the school that she went to in Haiti was a performing arts type of school, The students were rewarded by performing in the World championship of performing arts . After visiting she always wanted to moved here, but did not make a final decision until she had my brother and I.

My mother explained to me that Haiti is not the same as when she was growing up , it was peaceful and everyone kind of got along with each other also they weren’t a lot of kidnapping and killing. When her and my father separated, she made the decision to move my brother and I here to America. Although Haiti is a good country , there was too many killing and kidnapping also there was the big Earth quake in Haiti in 2009. My mother had no other choice to move up because everything that we had were destroyed, and some of our family members passed away. Also during the earthquake my brother was stuck under a house and by the grace of god, my Dad had removed him. He had to come to the U.S to seek some medical health.

When my Mother moved here she barely spoke any English, she taught herself how to read and write in English. I also helped her out since I was going to school and learning the language a lot faster than she was. Her first job was being a Team leader at Marriott Hotel in Fort Lauderdale, Miami. Her shift was from 7pm-7am, she hard to work extra and hard so she could provide for us. My mother explained to me that her transition here was very bad . She said” the transition from Haiti to here was a bit terrible, I miss my family and friends back home. This country is not the country that I imagine living in, because back In Haiti I could have been a doctor or law in like 2001, and moving here made me feel so low and insecure. I did not know the language thank god I had a friend to help me find somewhere to live and work, but a mother have to do whatever she can to provide for her children’s.”

I asked her what is the scariest thing about being a single mother? She said ”Raising two kids by myself knowing that I know nothing in this new world was really scary, because I had no idea on what I was going to get myself into. The most important is not having no one helping me out, like when I was pregnant so many people were happy saying that they cannot wait till I have the babies, and now that my kids are grown no one is there to help me out. Also, I have to make sure that I am free and up to date in my child’s life make sure I know everything that is going on in my child’s life. Because if you just go to work, and ignore your child’s there going to end up not going to school, stealing, or fighting. Therefore you have to be there for your child physically, financially(until their old enough to provide for themselves) and emotionally.”

Even though my Mother moved from Haiti to here ,she still participate in the Haitians culture. For example, she cook Haitian food, listen to Haitian music(kompa and jazz), and she keep herself up to date to everything that is going on in the Haitian community. I asked my mother what is the different between an American single moms vs an immigrant single mom-she said ” The both has their similarities and different. The similarities is that we are both single mom’s that are providing for our child ,also to do the best that we can so they can have a bright future a future better than us. But as an immigrant mom its harder ,because in Haiti we have families to help here and there. We also have a maid to help us, and I am able to afford it. In Haiti I could have been  Doctor or a lawyer. Mother’s here have the opportunity to put the father on child support, in Haiti we can’t do that”.

I consider a mother as an hero, because of the amount of the amount of responsibilities that they do by them self, They are strong and intelligent woman’s without  the support of no one. Kids now a days that has a single mother should always grateful because they know how are their mother struggle with them. I know my mother told me that some days in the past she use to just break down and cry because she saw how far she had accomplish without the help of no one. She thank god every day for helping her getting through the good times and bad times.

essay 3

Izadora Theodore

Professor Holly, Pappas

English 101

 

Discrimination against father’s pertaining to child custody.

Usually, when we Americans picture a perfect life we immediately see a perfect family with a dog and white picket fence. However, when divorce becomes a part of the picture there is added stress on the children. Why is it that mother’s automatically get to have custody over a child? The judge would view this as fair placement and I the writer would see It differently. Could this be discrimination against the fathers’ rights to be a parent?. Why do judges mostly grant custody of a child to a mother than a father? Most Mothers are able to give their children all the love and affection they need. Fathers can express and show the same characteristics as a mother. A father love and a mother’s love go hand to hand. Things that a child can be taught from a mother can also be done from a father figure and vice versa.

I grow up with both Parents, But when my parents divorced I ended up living with my Dad for a few years. Living with my dad was not as bad as I thought it would be, the only difference is that I wasn’t able to speak with him about certain things. For example, when I had my girl issues I could not really talk to him because I felt a little embarrassed. Although I did not mind living with my Dad, I felt like the only thing I can talk to my dad about is like mechanical stuff, educational advice, how to deal with bills and money. This made me miss my mom because I wasn’t able to speak with him on an emotional level. When I moved with my mom couple years after it was a different aspect, because she had an answer for mostly everything that I needed like how to do my hair, how to do my chores, and how dress myself up. I believe that a mother takes care personal needs, connects more with their children and they emotionally attached.

Fathers are mostly there for financial need, guidance like a mentor, bread winner. I wanted to find out a little bit more about father’s discrimination in the court system and how it makes them feel, because not everyone knows a father’s point of view unless if you do some research. I was looking at some articles but also interviewed someone which is my uncle Andy. Andy been in court plenty of times fighting to get custody of his daughter janaya. I asked Andy why couldn’t he and janaya’s mother just come to an agreement when it come to him visiting his daughter? Andy said ” that woman is just evil, she would do everything that she possibly can to not let me visit my daughter. She was a drug addict but whenever we would go to court she would know how to act right and it’s like judge was always on her side. Because I walked away from my daughter and went to a different state to find a better job I am a bad father”. I asked him- how many times did he have to go to court to fight for custody of his daughter?. He stated to me that ”it took me 3 years, and when I finally had the time to hang out with my daughter, she was not the same she will act differently . For example, she would barely eat and watch tv it’s like she was afraid of me. One day I asked my daughter why she act the way she does. She looked at me and the eye and said daddy I love you but mom told me to not be comfortable because you might leave again. I was so upset I could not believe what I was hearing”

In this article call ‘father’s campaign for family law ‘equality’ by Leona O’Neill talks about The Northern Ireland Fathers’ Rights Movement gathered at Londonderry Magistrates Court on a Friday, to call for an overhaul of family law and highlight issues surrounding child custody, and also child support that affect fathers and their children. The group says many of its members are fathers who desire to share the parenting of their children equally with the mothers of their children in the aftermath of a relationship breakdown or divorce. They were protesting about parental alienation which basically means when a child is not allowed to see one parent. Some of the father’s that were protesting had not seen their children for almost a year. The court did not offer much help for the fathers. One of the protester said “We are campaigning for reform of family law and want to bring to an end a system were unsubstantiated allegations can be made against the non-resident parent without supporting evidence. The fact is that it is still the case that in 2017, mothers and fathers do not have equal rights. We live in a society where it is the accepted norm that women should demand equality in the public sphere, while maintaining special privileges in the private sphere. We say this is unjust and demand equality now.” Fathers who lose custody were consistently found to be at greater risk for chronic health conditions, psychological impairment, and death. Of particular concern is the suicide risk of divorced men who become legally disenfranchised from their children.

In another article call ” Judge gives custody of child to 1 dad and 2 moms” by Sarah Jorgenson and Ellie Kaufman talk about how a guy had intimate relationship with two women. The father, identified as Michael M., and his wife, Dawn M. Dawn struggle to become pregnant, and she also suffered a miscarriage. When they met the other women name Audria, who was their neighbor. Then three later began in intimate relations. They considered themselves a family for years, and planned to raise a child together. Audria eventually gave birth to a boy. But around a year after he was born, left the home they shared with Michael — and moved in together. They took the child with them. Dawn and Michael filed for divorce in 2011. Audria was in favor of the tri-custody agreement but Michael was not, according to court documents. “To order anything other than joint custody could potentially facilitate the plaintiff’s removal from (the boy’s) life and that would have a devastating consequence to this child.” Even though the judge gave the father the right custody, the Mother didn’t really want to give custody of the child, and it his child.

A good father loves his children, but he doesn’t let them get away with murder. He strongly disapproves of his children’s misdeeds, using tough love to prove a point. He does this through the power of his words, not his fists… He allows his kids to make some mistakes. A good father realizes that his children are human, and that making mistakes is part of growing up. Spending money recklessly, getting into minor car accidents, getting drunk and sick for the first time, even dating questionable women are rites of passage, and a good father recognizes this. However, he makes it clear that repeated irresponsibility won’t be tolerated…He’s open-minded. A good father understands that times, people and tastes change over the years, and doesn’t try to maintain some gold standard of his own time…He teaches his children to appreciate things. I believe that if a couple get into a divorce and happen to have children together the judge should give equal rights. Because having a child is a two way street not one way unless if the parent does not want to be a part of that child’s life.

I believe the court system should also treat custody’s battles fairly because some kids get abuse by the parent that they decide to let the child stay with. Also the judge they never want to see the father point, they always give the mother the upper hand. It is not right for the father to pay child support. In this country you can barely find an article saying a mom is paying child support, why does the father have to pay child support. Some father want to be here for their child. In my opinion I think they should get rid of child support, because the father has bills to pay, clothes to put on his back. If he can take care of his child why not let him instead of ruining his life by taking thousands of money out of his pocket. I don’t think the court system is fair and I also think some judge should go back to school and learn a bit more about equal rights, women and men’s rights.

Work cited:

“PressReader.com – Connecting People Through News.” PressReader.com – Connecting People Through News, www.pressreader.com/uk/belfast-telegraph/20170327/281560880625341. Accessed 12 May 2017.

 

Jorgensen, Sarah, and Ellie Kaufman. “Judge Gives Custody of Child to 1 Dad and 2 Moms.” CNN, Cable News Network, 14 Mar. 2017, www.cnn.com/2017/03/14/health/three-parent-custody-agreement-trnd/. Accessed 12 May 2017.

 

fried, Joseph P. “Father to Pay $600,000 in Support.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 7 Dec. 1995, www.nytimes.com/1995/12/08/nyregion/father-to-pay-600000-in-support.html. Accessed 12 May 2017.

argument proposal

I wanted to write my argument proposal about divorce. how come when ever parents go to court for custody the judge always give the kids to the mom and not the dad. they automatically believe that the mothers are always good for the kid. But sometime it is always good for the child to be raise by their father because in my opinion fathers have a little bit more disciplines  then mothers. but in the other hand mothers shows love and affection to their kids they have that tough love for their kids.

Izadora Theodore

Professor Holly, Pappas

English 101

 

Text Wrestling.

 

In the Article ” All joy and no fun” by Jennifer Senior explain how some people that have children’s are happier, but in the article it say that most  studies show that mothers are less happy than fathers, that single parents are less happy still, that babies and toddlers are the hardest, and that each successive child produces diminishing returns. Also, it say how parent’s do not really enjoy parenting because of the children. I know that having kids is not something that parents planned out, but if you end up having one you should at least enjoy it. The article also talked about a movie of a mother who worked a full day shift ,and when she got home she made dinner for her son. Her8 year old son would not do he’s homework because of lack of discipline and wanted to watch a movie. The boy refuse to do he’s homework until he gets into a certain part so he can pause it. He’s Mother did not agree she wanted him to do the homework immediately. He’s mom had to give him some discipline by pausing the movie no matter how angry he was. She had to make sure he gets his priorities done first.  In a documentary that compares the lives of four newborns- one in Japan, one in Namibia, one in Mongolia, and one in the United States (San Francisco). Lois Nachamie quoted “I don’t mean to idealize the lives of the Namibian women,” she says. “But it was hard not to notice how calm  they were. They were beading their children’s ankles and decorating them with sienna, clearly enjoying just sitting and playing with them, and we’re here often thinking of all of this stuff as labor.”

In my opinion I believe that children’s that grew up in a different country will mostly likely be different because of how their parents treat them. Because I grew up with both mom and dad , but my some of my friends grew up with one parents because their parents might have gotten a divorce or might have passed away. Middle class parents spend a lot of time answering question from their kids so they can make sure their kids are getting all the information they need, Meanwhile the upper class parents are so focus on money and giving their kids they do not teach them any life lesson, also is never there for their kids. But according to this article call ”should you value moment to moment happiness” . sociologists named kei nomaguchi and Melissa A. Milkie followed a couple for five to seven years. Couples who became parents did more households and felt less in control. The married women were less depressed after they had kid. The authors also found that the most depressed people were single fathers, and Milkie speculates that perhaps it’s because they wanted to be involved in their children’s lives but weren’t. Robin Simon finds something similar: The least depressed parents are those whose underage children are in the house, and the most are those whose aren’t. In my opinion I think that if parenting makes you unhappy, you should feel better if you’re spared the task of doing it.

Also it said how mothers are less happy than fathers, single parents are still less happy. Is it because they don’t know whether to have kids, when, how many—may be one of the reasons parents are less happy?. They become parents later in life. There’s a loss of freedom, a loss of autonomy. It’s totally different from going from your parents’ house to immediately having a baby. They end up not having time for themselves and end up stressing out. But when people wait to have children’s you tend to have time to kind of enjoy your adult hood. For example you will have time to go on vacations, basically you will have a little bit more freedom.

I am not a parent but I have a godson and he is now 2 years old. Parenting is not an easy thing especially dealing with kids that are in the ages 1-9 . There is a lot of responsibilities – cleaning, feeding, give the child attention. But I agree with the article because it explains the parents point of view and how they feel. Because godson mother can be a little frustrated at time and she look like she want to give, sometime my Godson can be a full hand . I also think that pregnancy is not something that is plan it’s a blessing yes kids can be a little bit overwhelming but you cannot give up . the best thing to do is to give your all and everything that you have to guide your child in the right directions, and also to give them the best life/ childhood they can ever have.

final draft

Izadora Theodore

Proffessor Holly Pappas

English 101

4/1/17

Ethnography Final Draft.

 

”Family” takes many forms, and it is surrounded by the comparatively  impressive  ” choice Moms”-single women who choose to have a child without a male partner. Growing up  with a single mom and two older siblings , my Mother would of never thought that she herself would be raising two kids on her own. I always wanted to what is it like to be an immigrant single mother? What were the transition on moving from Haiti to here? Or what was it like to fit in with the other U.S single mothers. Therefore, I asked the only one person who can answer these questions which is my Mother. She is a  strong and intelligence who has been raising my brother and I on her own for about 8 years.

Guerda Balde, which is my Mother’s name lived in Haiti for 35 years, had made an extremely decision on moving my brother and I here from Haiti. My mother is 5’1, born in Belladere, Haiti visited some states in the U.S. For example New York, Georgia, and Los Angeles. Back in high school she use to be a dancer ,and the school that she went to in Haiti was a performing arts type of school, The students were rewarded by performing in the World championship of performing arts . After visiting she always wanted to moved here, but did not make a final decision until she had my brother and I.

My mother explained to me that Haiti is not the same as when she was growing up , it was peaceful and everyone kind of got along with each other also they weren’t a lot of kidnapping and killing. When her and my father separated, she made the decision to move my brother and I here to America. Although Haiti is a good country ,but there was too many killing and kidnapping also there was the big Earth quake in Haiti in 2009. My mother had no other choice to move up because everything that we had were destroyed, and some of our family member passed away. Also during the earthquake my Little brother was stuck under a house and by the grace of god, my Dad had removed him. He had to come to the U.S to seek some medical health.

When my Mother moved here she barely spoke any English, she taught herself how to read and write in English. I also helped her out since I was going to school and learning the language a lot faster than she was. Her first was being a Team leader at Marriott Hotel in Fort Lauderdale, Miami. Her shift was from 7pm-7am, she hard to work extra and hard so she can provide for us. My mother explained to me that her transition here was very bad . She Quoted” the transition from Haiti to here was a bit terrible, I miss my family and friends back home. This country is not the country that I imagine living in, because back In Haiti I could have been a doctor or law and moving here made me feel so low and insecure. I did not know the language thank god I had a friend to help me find somewhere to live and work, but a mother have to do whatever she can to provide for her children’s.”

I asked her what is it like when you are the most scariest thing about being a single mother? She said ”Raising two kids by myself knowing that I know nothing in this new world was really scary, because I had no idea on what I was going to get myself into. The most important is not having no one helping me out, like when I was pregnant so many people were happy saying that they cannot wait till I have the babies, and now that my kids are grown no one is there to help me out. Also, I have to make sure that I am free and up to date in my child’s life make sure I know everything that is going on in my child’s life. Because if you just go to work, and ignore your child’s their going to end up not going to school, stealing, or fighting. Therefore you have to be there for your child physically, financially(until their old enough to provide for themselves) and emotionally.”

Even though my Mother moved from Haiti to here she still participate in the Haitians culture. For example, she cook Haitian food, listen to Haitian music(kompa and jazz), and she keep herself up to date to everything that is going on in the Haitian community. I asked my mother what is the different between an American single moms vs an immigrant single mom-she said ” The both has their similarities and different. The similarities is that we are both single mom’s that are providing for our child ,also to do the best that we can so they can have a bright future a future better than us. But as an immigrant mom its harder ,because in Haiti we have families to help here and there. We also have a maid to help us, and I am able to afford it. In Haiti I could have been  Doctor or a lawyer. Mother’s here have the opportunity to put the father on child support, in Haiti we can’t do that”.

I consider a mother as an hero, because of the amount of stuff that they do by their self, They are strong and intelligent woman’s without  the support of no one. Kids now a days that has a single are always grateful because they know how are their mother struggle with them. In my opinion I believe that a kid who grow up by their mom are most likely to have a brighter future , than a kid getting raise by their Dads

Ethnography rough draft

”Family” takes many forms, and it is surrounded by the comparatively prodigy of ” choice Moms”-single women who choose to have a child without a male partner. Growing up  with a single mom and two older siblings , my Mother would of never thought that she herself would be raising two kids on her own. I always wanted to what is it like to be an immigrant single mother? What were the transition on moving from Haiti to here? Or what was it like to fit in with the other U.S single mothers. Therefore, I asked the only one person who can answer these questions which is my Mother. She is a  strong and intelligence who has been raising my brother and I on her own for about 8 years.

Guerda Balde, which is my Mother’s name lived in Haiti for 35 years, had made an extremely decision on moving my brother and I here from Haiti. My mother is 5’1, born in Belladere, Haiti visited some states in the U.S. For example New York, Georgia, and Los Angeles. Back in high school she use to be a dancer ,and the school that she went to in Haiti was a performing arts type of school, The students were rewarded by performing in the World championship of performing arts . After visiting she always wanted to moved here, but did not make a final decision until she had my brother and I.

My mother explained to me that Haiti is not the same as when she was growing up , it was peaceful and everyone kind of got along with each other also they weren’t a lot of kidnapping and killing. When her and my father separated, she made the decision to move my brother and I here to America. Although Haiti is a good country ,but there was too many killing and kidnapping also there was the big Earth quake in Haiti in 2009. My mother had no other choice to move up because everything that we had were destroyed, and some of our family member passed away. Also during the earthquake my Little brother was stuck under a house and by the grace of god, my Dad had removed him. He had to come to the U.S to seek some medical health.

When my Mother moved here she barely spoke any English, she taught herself how to read and write in English. I also helped her out since I was going to school and learning the language a lot faster than she was. Her first was being a Team leader at Marriott Hotel in Fort Lauderdale, Miami. Her shift was from 7pm-7am, she hard to work extra and hard so she can provide for us. My mother explained to me that her transition here was very bad . She Quoted” the transition from Haiti to here was a bit terrible, I miss my family and friends back home. This country is not the country that I imagine living in, because back In Haiti I could have been a doctor or law and moving here made me feel so low and insecure. I did not know the language thank god I had a friend to help me find somewhere to live and work, but a mother have to do whatever she can to provide for her children’s.”

I asked her what is it like when you are the most scariest thing about being a single mother? She said ”Raising two kids by myself knowing that I know nothing in this new world was really scary, because I had no idea on what I was going to get myself into. The most important is not having no one helping me out, like when I was pregnant so many people were happy saying that they cannot wait till I have the babies, and now that my kids are grown no one is there to help me out. Also, I have to make sure that I am free and up to date in my child’s life make sure I know everything that is going on in my child’s life. Because if you just go to work, and ignore your child’s their going to end up not going to school, stealing, or fighting. Therefore you have to be there for your child physically, financially(until their old enough to provide for themselves) and emotionally.”

Even though my Mother moved from Haiti to here she still participate in the Haitians culture. For example, she cook Haitian food, listen to Haitian music(kompa and jazz), and she keep herself up to date to everything that is going on in the Haitian community. I asked my mother what is the different between an American single moms vs an immigrant single mom-she said ” The both has their similarities and different. The similarities is that we are both single mom’s that are providing for our child ,also to do the best that we can so they can have a bright future a future better than us. But as an immigrant mom its harder ,because in Haiti we have families to help here and there. We also have a maid to help us, and I am able to afford it. In Haiti I could have been  Doctor or a lawyer. Mother’s here have the opportunity to put the father on child support, in Haiti we can’t do that”.

I consider a mother as an hero, because of the amount of stuff that they do by their self, and they suffer a lot well it all a depend how your child turns out to be. I know that my Mother told me that some days she just shed in tear, but it tears of joy. She realize how far she came and how much she had achieve and she thank god every day for helping her getting through the good times and bad times.