”Family” takes many forms, and it is surrounded by the comparatively prodigy of ” choice Moms”-single women who choose to have a child without a male partner. Growing up with a single mom and two older siblings , my Mother would of never thought that she herself would be raising two kids on her own. I always wanted to what is it like to be an immigrant single mother? What were the transition on moving from Haiti to here? Or what was it like to fit in with the other U.S single mothers. Therefore, I asked the only one person who can answer these questions which is my Mother. She is a strong and intelligence who has been raising my brother and I on her own for about 8 years.
Guerda Balde, which is my Mother’s name lived in Haiti for 35 years, had made an extremely decision on moving my brother and I here from Haiti. My mother is 5’1, born in Belladere, Haiti visited some states in the U.S. For example New York, Georgia, and Los Angeles. Back in high school she use to be a dancer ,and the school that she went to in Haiti was a performing arts type of school, The students were rewarded by performing in the World championship of performing arts . After visiting she always wanted to moved here, but did not make a final decision until she had my brother and I.
My mother explained to me that Haiti is not the same as when she was growing up , it was peaceful and everyone kind of got along with each other also they weren’t a lot of kidnapping and killing. When her and my father separated, she made the decision to move my brother and I here to America. Although Haiti is a good country ,but there was too many killing and kidnapping also there was the big Earth quake in Haiti in 2009. My mother had no other choice to move up because everything that we had were destroyed, and some of our family member passed away. Also during the earthquake my Little brother was stuck under a house and by the grace of god, my Dad had removed him. He had to come to the U.S to seek some medical health.
When my Mother moved here she barely spoke any English, she taught herself how to read and write in English. I also helped her out since I was going to school and learning the language a lot faster than she was. Her first was being a Team leader at Marriott Hotel in Fort Lauderdale, Miami. Her shift was from 7pm-7am, she hard to work extra and hard so she can provide for us. My mother explained to me that her transition here was very bad . She Quoted” the transition from Haiti to here was a bit terrible, I miss my family and friends back home. This country is not the country that I imagine living in, because back In Haiti I could have been a doctor or law and moving here made me feel so low and insecure. I did not know the language thank god I had a friend to help me find somewhere to live and work, but a mother have to do whatever she can to provide for her children’s.”
I asked her what is it like when you are the most scariest thing about being a single mother? She said ”Raising two kids by myself knowing that I know nothing in this new world was really scary, because I had no idea on what I was going to get myself into. The most important is not having no one helping me out, like when I was pregnant so many people were happy saying that they cannot wait till I have the babies, and now that my kids are grown no one is there to help me out. Also, I have to make sure that I am free and up to date in my child’s life make sure I know everything that is going on in my child’s life. Because if you just go to work, and ignore your child’s their going to end up not going to school, stealing, or fighting. Therefore you have to be there for your child physically, financially(until their old enough to provide for themselves) and emotionally.”
Even though my Mother moved from Haiti to here she still participate in the Haitians culture. For example, she cook Haitian food, listen to Haitian music(kompa and jazz), and she keep herself up to date to everything that is going on in the Haitian community. I asked my mother what is the different between an American single moms vs an immigrant single mom-she said ” The both has their similarities and different. The similarities is that we are both single mom’s that are providing for our child ,also to do the best that we can so they can have a bright future a future better than us. But as an immigrant mom its harder ,because in Haiti we have families to help here and there. We also have a maid to help us, and I am able to afford it. In Haiti I could have been Doctor or a lawyer. Mother’s here have the opportunity to put the father on child support, in Haiti we can’t do that”.
I consider a mother as an hero, because of the amount of stuff that they do by their self, and they suffer a lot well it all a depend how your child turns out to be. I know that my Mother told me that some days she just shed in tear, but it tears of joy. She realize how far she came and how much she had achieve and she thank god every day for helping her getting through the good times and bad times.